Tame Your Tension: Master Your and your Horses Stress in Life
We all carry tension—whether it’s from elections, a stressful phone call, kids acting up, or a driver cutting us off on the way to the barn. These moments build up, often unnoticed, until something triggers a reaction. For us, it might mean snapping at a loved one or acting out inappropriately. For our horses, it often shows up as spooking at a shadow, a hose, or that plastic bag in the arena.
Horses are incredibly perceptive. They sense our emotions, often mirroring our tension, which can lead to unpredictable reactions. But what if we could stay ahead of our stress and help our horses do the same? Together, we can work toward a calmer, more fulfilling connection—both in the barn and beyond.
Understanding Tension and Triggers
For both horses and humans, the object or event—like a shadow or an unexpected noise—isn’t the real problem. It’s just the trigger. The proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back isn’t the source of tension. When we carry unresolved stress into the barn, our horses pick up on it, often taking it on themselves in addition to their own worries. They might become anxious, jumpy, or difficult, reflecting the very stress we’re trying to leave behind.
To make our time with our horses more enjoyable, we first need to manage our own stress. When we learn to release bottled-up tension before stepping into the stall, our horses become calmer and more focused. And just as we can teach ourselves to relax, we can teach our horses the same techniques, creating a mutual sense of safety and trust.
Three Easy Stress-Reducing Techniques
Try these three simple strategies before working with your horse—or anytime stress starts to feel overwhelming, even outside the barn. Not only will these help you feel better, but they’ll also set a calm tone for your equine partner:
1. Deep Breathing
Take a few minutes to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale slowly through your mouth for six. Repeat this cycle 3-5 times. This activates your body’s relaxation response, helping you feel grounded and present.
2. Body Scan
Stand quietly and take a moment to mentally scan your body from head to toe. Notice any areas of tension—tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, or a stiff lower back. As you identify these spots, consciously relax them. This not only eases physical tension but also increases your awareness of how stress manifests in your body.
3. Positive Visualization
Close your eyes and imagine a successful, peaceful session with your horse. Picture your horse moving calmly, responding to your cues, and enjoying your time together. By setting this positive intention, you create a mental blueprint for a calm and rewarding interaction.
Sharing Calm with Your Horse
Once you’ve centered yourself, you can help your horse do the same. Practice gentle groundwork exercises, or simply take a moment to let them relax alongside you. Horses thrive on consistency and calm energy. The more you practice these techniques together, the more relaxed and trusting your partnership will become.
Watch for signs that your horse is relaxing: softening around their head and neck, lowering their head, licking and chewing, and soft ears and eyes. Notice how your relaxation gives your horse permission to release their stress and begin to feel safe with you. Don’t just look—truly see how your horse is communicating with you.
Beyond the Barn: Skills for Life
The beauty of these techniques is that they don’t just help us in the barn—they help us in our everyday lives. When we learn to manage our tension and stay calm under pressure, we improve our ability to navigate challenges with people too. The famous Stoics said, “There are only two things in our control: our actions and our reactions.”
Just like our horses, the people around us are sensitive to our energy. Whether it’s resolving conflicts at work, staying patient with family, or navigating difficult conversations, the mindfulness and emotional regulation we practice with our horses empower us to show up as our best selves in every aspect of life.
As we work on creating a peaceful, trusting connection with our horse, remember that these skills will help you foster better connections with the people in your life as well. The lessons we learn in the barn are powerful tools for thriving in the world.
How do you handle stress with your pets or in everyday life? If you’re interested in learning more about our program, please email me at thor@vetsct.org. If you’d like to donate, visit our website at https://vetsct.org/give
